there is always an agenda. wanting to help is an agenda. it just depends on whether you are seeking something only for yourself or for all involved. and, if you recognize that helping can be saying, "No." for the benefit of all.
You are always responsible for how you act. It is very true my friends, you and only you are responsible for you actions. A wise man once said - we cannot control what happens to us - but we can control what to do about it,.